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As a reminder, please note we only have a set amount of time for your review before we have to move on to our next appointments. However, during that time, we will be able to cover quite a bit! In addition to this, as a Walden student, you are permitted to have up to two writing appointments per week (and you can send an unlimited about of questions between appointments to our email address I will give you below ????). This means that we can work on this, or other documents, later this week if you would like. You are also able to make appointments ahead of time to guarantee you have a slot booked!
As per your review form, you would like this review to focus on:
• APA 7
• Scholarly Writing
Paragraph Formatting/Overall Structure & Movement
FD002 Introduction to Criminal Justice Research
In these modern times, various crimes are being committed. You will want a stronger hook here that shows the reader exactly what you will be addressing in your paper. A hook for an introduction, generally, works with the thesis statement. The hook will inform the reader of the general idea of the paragraph and essay, while the thesis statement will give the reader a more focused understanding of this material. A good way to see if these are done successfully is to ready only the hook and the thesis statement of an introduction. If you are able to see the broad idea of the paper through the hook, and the more focused concept through the thesis statement, then you have written a well-crafted hook and a detailed thesis statement.In some of these crimes, there is the use of lethal weapons, while some do not require the use of lethal weapons or force, but they are associated with some form of sophisticated fraud, popularly known as white-collar crimes (More, 2020). You want to avoid using paraphrases or direct quotes in your introduction/conclusion so that you can show the reader your understanding of the materials, and then back your information with citations throughout your body paragraphs to so the reader the research you have done. This expository paper analyzes the topic of white-collar crimes in criminal justice and its causes and effects.
The term white-collar crime was first conceived in 1939 by an American sociologist, Edwin Sutherland, who defined white-collar crime as “a crime committed by a person of respectability and high social status in the course of their occupation.” (More, 2020). In academic writing you do not want to use direct quotes or paraphrases in your first or last sentence of your paragraph or section. In using your own original thoughts and ideas for these instances you are showing the reader that you fully understand the materials, and are using the research of others to supplement the readers understanding, not your own. In using paraphrasing or direct quotes to start or end your paragraph, the reader may, very likely, think that you are not an expert on this material and that you must rely on the research of others to make your points for you. In using research/paraphrasing as a way to support your own original thoughts you come off as much more credible and knowledgably to the reader. He was the first person to study white-collar crimes and developed the white-collar crime theory to help criminologists and people in society understand that even respected and well-educated people commit crimes. Remember all information that is not your own original thoughts needs a citation after each sentence. It seems like you have quite a bit of information here that needs citations, but does not have any. This would be considered unintentional plagiarism, but could be early correct, so don’t worry! Please remember this is still considered plagiarism, and will need to be immediately corrected. Sutherland associated white-collar crimes with the educated and well affluent people in society, and we can attest to this with the recent conviction of high profile people who have committed white-collar crimes like Bernie Madoff and Michael Milken. White-collar crimes are non-violent crimes committed for financial gain, with businesses and large corporations being the primary target. The crimes are characterized by the violation of trust, concealment, or deceit. The motivation is to obtain money, avoid losing money, services, property, or secure a business advantage over others. White-collar crimes include money laundering, securities fraud, corporate fraud, and embezzlement. The internet has facilitated the rampant increase and spread of white-collar crimes.
People in workplaces have various degrees of tolerance toward ethical behavior and being careful or diligent in their tasks. Environmental cues and signals at the workplace can push people to behave differently when faced with ethical choices. A perceived ambiguity in environmental cues and signals push employees or people in various organizations to behave unethically. This means that the workplace environment is vital in eliciting desirable or undesirable behavior in employees. Poorly designed job incentives may cause white-collar crimes. When businesses and organizations introduce incentive programs without following a systematic thought process or not appropriate to meet the employee’s expectations, the poorly designed incentives may encourage employee’s unethical behavior (Khan, 2018). The reluctance or lack of concern towards ethics in organizations may encourage and cause white-collar crimes. Professionally, managers are expected to be respectful, have dignity, be compassionate, honest, and promote justice in their leadership. If managers fail to uphold their managerial traits, then there is a high possibility that employees below will behave unethically. An example is when a manager in an investment firm sources expert networks to legalize their firms’ use of inside trading information for stock trading. This behavior may send wrong cues to other employees who may breach security laws for their advantage or the firm’s advantage. Setting aggressive goals may cause white-collar crimes. Self-delegation or delegation of ambiguous directives to employees may encourage people to do anything, even if it is committing white-collar crimes like corporate and securities fraud, to meet the set goals. Setting aggressive goals is the hallmark of this corporate world, and it is part of our business culture, but this may harm organizations. With aggressive goals and ambiguous directives, a blind eye is turned on any means used to succeed, which opens room for unethical tactics (Khan, 2018). An example of these ambiguous corporate directives is the directive for Uber users to use the “Greyball” tool. The tool allowed Uber operators to evade local regulations, and this encourages the operators to devise sophisticated methods of committing white-collar crimes to defraud their users and employer. You are ending on new information. Make sure you are not ending your paragraphs with new information, you want to present this earlier, so that you are able to build and expand on it throughout the rest of your paragraph.
Criminologists agree that white-collar crimes have more damaging effects on the economy and society. The adverse effects of white-collar crimes are not felt immediately after a crime has been committed, but the effects take time to trickle down in the economy. The huge ripple effects of white-collar crimes on the economy are drops in stock price, job loss, court costs, increased consumer price, and prison costs for convicted criminals. These ripple effects are very costly to the economy, and they massively affect businesses and the economy. Defrauding corporates may render them bankrupt, destroying the source of income for many people. The Federal Bureau of Investigation estimates that white-collar crimes’ ripple effects cost the United States of America more than 300 billion US dollars yearly (Legal Information Institute, n.d.). Although white-collar crimes are non-violent, they harm and destroy an individual’s life more than violent crimes. The loss of saving to fraudsters leads to the ruining of families. When people are defrauded, their quality of life is decreased, and they are left vulnerable to drug abuse, mental illness, and may commit suicide. White-collar crimes in society can manifest as corruption, where to do business will require people to bribe their way out. Shell companies are likely to rise to enable white-collar criminals to siphon company profits and assets to third parties discouraging people from investing, preventing society’s growth (Bishop, 2020).
In conclusion, You don’t want to use “in conclusion” as your introduction to the conclusion. It is repetitive, not a very strong transition, and may cause your reader to lose focus. Perhaps you can go back and look over the stronger transitions you have used within this assignment and revise this to reflect that writing style. convincing white-collar crime is harmful even though it is non-violent. It changes people’s moral and ethical behavior. Factors like poorly designed job incentives, lack of management concern towards ethics, and setting aggressive goals may push people to commit white-collar crimes. To avoid this push, the stressors must be reduced or eliminated to prevent white-collar crimes. The adverse effects of white-collar crime on the economy and society make it the most dangerous crime in the society that needs to be addressed to avoid its significant consequences like job loss, making organizations bankrupt and ruining families.
Legal Information Institute. (n.d.). White-collar crime. Website titles need to be in sentence case and italics as per APA guidelines. This is no longer used in APA formatting and should be omitted from all future reference entries. https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/white-collar_crime#
Khan, R. (2018). White-Collar Crimes—Motivations and Triggers.. https://www.forbes.com/sites/roomykhan/2018/02/22/white-collar-crimes-motivations-and-triggers/?sh=4a362b591219
More, H. (2020). White-Collar Crime https://thefactfactor.com/facts/law/legal_concepts/criminology/white-collar-crime/10894/
Bishop, K. (2020). White-Collar Crime: What It Is and How It Affects Society. https://attorneyatlawmagazine.com/white-collar-crime-what-is-how-affect-society
This is a good start to your document. Below you will find a summary of the notes I provided throughout the document above—as well as some additional links to help you with revision—and the link to myPASS, so you are able to make a new appointment with me ???? Remember, you are allowed two appointments per week—and you can make these two weeks in advance and cancel 24 hours before the appointment if it is no longer needed.
• (I would like to see you work on including stronger lead-outs in your writing. Right now, you are ending a lot of your paragraphs and sections on new information, which does not allow your reader to fully understand this information and how it ties to the information being presented in the next sections/paragraphs. You can use the information I provided above to help you with this and can always reach out to us at the email below with any questions.)
• (You had some minor errors with your reference list. I modeled corrections to your reference list, provided links to additional sources, and provided links to visuals that will help you as you continue to revise your references. In addition to this, I also provided you with a webinar that will help you to make sure that your reference list references and revisions match with your in-text citations. If you have any questions about my feedback or any questions as you continue your revision, please reach out to email@example.com and we would be glad to help!)
• (You have some minor issues with omitted words and punctuation. I would like to see you use Grammarly to help you with this.)
• I would love to continue to work with you on this document as well as your future documents. Remember, you are able to make two appointments per week, and you can make them two weeks in advance to be sure you have an appointment. If the appointment is not needed, you are always able to cancel it the day before. I hope to see you again next week!
• Please feel free to provide feedback on my review—it is anonymous and helps me ensure I am giving students the best reviews possible ????
Tone refers to the writer’s voice in a written work. It is what the reader or hearer might perceive as the writer’s attitude, bias, or personality. Many academic writers mistake a scholarly tone for dull, boring language or a mixture of jargon and multisyllabic, “intelligent-sounding” words. Academic writing, however, does not need to be complicated nor lacking in style (see APA 7, Section 4.7); instead, it can be both engaging and clear.
You should speak as an objective social scientist. This means that everything you say must be unbiased
, and supported by evidence
. According to APA (2020), differences in research “should be presented in a professional, noncombative manner” (p. 114).
- Avoid making broad generalizations (“always,” “never”).
- Avoid using over-sweeping adjectives (“outstanding,” “obvious”).
- Avoid using adverbs (“really,” “clearly”).
- Avoid qualifiers (“a little,” “definitely”).
- Avoid emotional language (“It is heartbreaking that so many are starving”).
- Avoid inflammatory language (“Smith’s study was terrible, sickening, sad”).
A hyphen is a punctuation mark that connects words.
Use a hyphen when a compound phrase is used as an adjective to modify the following word:
Example: The peer-reviewed research suggested…
Example: As a fourth-grade teacher, I…
Example: Anderson (1998) tried to avoid face-to-face conflicts.
- Take the APA Style Diagnostic Quiz for more practice.
- Review section 4.13 of the APA manual for even more detailed hyphen guidelines.
You’ve got a good start on these references, but I think you’ll need to tweak their formatting a bit to meet APA guidelines. See the examples in our Common Reference List Examples document to get an idea of how references to journal articles, books, web pages, etc., you may review the following links:
Walden Reference List Examples
Best Practices for Citation Software
Webinar: APA Citation Basics
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